Recipe for Being a Good…

I had a vivid dream last night. One where I was a juror and had to decide who was guilty between two people. Both looked exactly alike. But, locked in a room with the othe jurors and access to the two under trial we could begin to see who wasn’t the good person there. I then began to make a judgment based on that person’s actions at the time, regardless of whether they committed the crime, it was their current behavior that made me assign guilt.

I bring this up, because last night before going to bed, I received an email that was a bit “snappy” from someone. I broke my rule about not checking email before bed, which I keep for that exact reason (reading something that bothers me). Then this morning I got to thinking about that email and this dream, and it made me start to consider what being a good person is all about.

So, here’s my recipe for being a good (and perhaps even remarkable) person, including being a good mother, daughter, sister, brother, father, son, co-worker, employee, business person, partner, spouse, and so on.

  • Speak with compassion, even when you are scared, hurt, angry or fearful.
  • Offer love to the seemingly unlovable.
  • Refrain from judgment, and accepts others for who they are.
  • Realizes when they’ve made a mistake, admits to it and can say they are sorry.
  • Is mindful of other people.
  • Doesn’t expect others to do what they want, simply because they want them to.
  • Is willing to give back.
  • Speaks words of encouragement.
  • Practices forgiveness.

I think inherently, we all have a desire to be a good person. When we act in ways that are incongruent with that desire, we feel discomfort from our actions. Sometimes causing a spiral effect, leading to more incongruent words and actions. Being a good person doesn’t take a lot of energy or effort, but it does take patience, mindfulness and awareness about our thoughts and actions.

Remember, every thought you think, action you take, words you speak, affect the people around you. The more we use the recipe above in all our interactions with others, the more we can pass along kindness, hope and love to others, who can then pass it back or on to someone else.

It’s who are (your being), not what you do that makes you a remarkable person. We all have the ability to be remarkable human beings.

What else would you include in this recipe for being a good person? I’d love to know.

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Comments

  1. I think your list of what makes a good person is certainly accurate. I think being mindful is especially important or realizing that we all act out of our egos, judgments and biases. It’s important to realize that when dealing with people especially when they get angry.
    Anyway, good article!

  2. A good person strives to inspire and empower others to live to their fullest potential and make a positive difference in this world. That is my thought of the day!

  3. Ginny Martin Fleming says:

    I couldn’t agree more, Andrea. Well put. As I’ve aged I know I’ve become more mindful in this way, which is the awesome part about being in my 50′s now!!! With younger folks today learning these lessons perhaps earlier, I have optimism about the future of our world. Thanks.

    • I love your thinking! And I do agree, the younger generations – although technologically connected – really do care about the world and will be looking to change it for the better.

  4. This was great, Andrea! So much of what you said reminded me of The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz – 1)Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don’t take anything personally, 3)Don’t make assumptions, 4) Always do your best.
    Just yesterday I received an email reply from someone whom I had made an assumption about and I was wrong. It was a great reminder for me to not make assumptions and not take it personally.
    Thanks for your reminder recipe!

    • I love the Four Agreements, it is by far one of my favorite books. I also love the Voice of Knowledge, which is also chock full of wisdom! Assumptions are never good!

  5. Oh Andrea what a beautiful post. I feel so inspired to share this – which is perhaps one thing I’d add to the recipe… inspired to pay it forward, adding value and increase to the lives of others without expecting anything in return. xo

  6. Beautiful post Andrea! All great points and things to live by. And in order to BE this person, one must also give all of this right back to yourself and incorporate the most important thing: Boundaries -to keep the good in and the bad out – this way – you can BE that great person and make your greatest contribution. Thank you for sharing your wisdom – and your dream – love it! xo

  7. I think we should all have it posted on our mirror for daily review.

    Thanks,
    Sally

  8. Very powerful words, and nice to be remind ourselves on a daily basis!

    (I wish that Facebook would make everyone’s posts conform to these rules! I’ve seen some incredibly rude things lately. ..)

  9. Andrea – This phrase –> “It’s who are (your being), not what you do that makes you a remarkable person. ” is by far the most favorite thing I have read in a long time! Thank you so much for sharing this great piece of advice.

  10. Beautifully written Andrea .In the Jewish faith we have some special terms used to describe a good person –
    A Menche is a yiddish term which means in one word everything you describe as a good or righteous person
    The goal for every Jewish person is Tikun Olam- repairing the World -we should leave it better than we came into it.
    I wear a bracelet with a phrase in hebrew it is to remind me of what is important It says “the world rests on 3 things- torah(including commandments from god and mitzvot) study and acts of loving kindness.

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