Recipe for Being a Good…

I had a vivid dream last night. One where I was a juror and had to decide who was guilty between two people. Both looked exactly alike. But, locked in a room with the othe jurors and access to the two under trial we could begin to see who wasn’t the good person there. I then began to make a judgment based on that person’s actions at the time, regardless of whether they committed the crime, it was their current behavior that made me assign guilt.

I bring this up, because last night before going to bed, I received an email that was a bit “snappy” from someone. I broke my rule about not checking email before bed, which I keep for that exact reason (reading something that bothers me). Then this morning I got to thinking about that email and this dream, and it made me start to consider what being a good person is all about.

So, here’s my recipe for being a good (and perhaps even remarkable) person, including being a good mother, daughter, sister, brother, father, son, co-worker, employee, business person, partner, spouse, and so on.

  • Speak with compassion, even when you are scared, hurt, angry or fearful.
  • Offer love to the seemingly unlovable.
  • Refrain from judgment, and accepts others for who they are.
  • Realizes when they’ve made a mistake, admits to it and can say they are sorry.
  • Is mindful of other people.
  • Doesn’t expect others to do what they want, simply because they want them to.
  • Is willing to give back.
  • Speaks words of encouragement.
  • Practices forgiveness.

I think inherently, we all have a desire to be a good person. When we act in ways that are incongruent with that desire, we feel discomfort from our actions. Sometimes causing a spiral effect, leading to more incongruent words and actions. Being a good person doesn’t take a lot of energy or effort, but it does take patience, mindfulness and awareness about our thoughts and actions.

Remember, every thought you think, action you take, words you speak, affect the people around you. The more we use the recipe above in all our interactions with others, the more we can pass along kindness, hope and love to others, who can then pass it back or on to someone else.

It’s who are (your being), not what you do that makes you a remarkable person. We all have the ability to be remarkable human beings.

What else would you include in this recipe for being a good person? I’d love to know.

The Three Fundamentals Truths of Change

We all bring our own understandings, beliefs and experiences to the world; however, I believe there are THREE pivotal and fundamental truths we all need to embrace in order to create change in our lives.

These THREE truths are the foundation for creating a life with meaning, and how we view ourselves and how we view others. You see, when we embrace these ideas as true for ourselves, we will naturally project these same ideals on to others, this is when true change occurs.

Here they are:

  1. We belong. We each have inherent need to know and feel as though we belong and that we are a part of something larger than ourselves, that we fit in, and that we are accepted. A feeling of belonging and a sense of connectedness will remove feelings of isolation, desperation and exclusion. Which I believe are the root feelings of depression. When we realize that we belong and that we are a part of something larger than ourselves, it not only helps us to realize that our lives are not meaningless, but it also helps us to take responsibility for our actions and reactions to those around us. For example. If you think about how you belong in your own family, you’ll notice your protective instincts go up if someone else puts them down. When we feel that sense of belonging, whether with the communities we live in, or in our workplace, or simply out in our daily lives, we will each take more responsibility for what is happening in and around us.
  2. We matter. To know that we matter and our lives are important and meaningful reminds us that we are not invisible, that our lives have purpose and meaning and that each and every person on this planet is here for a reason. If any single person were missing the balance and the energy of the planet would shift. Each and every person matters. The homeless, the hungry, the wealthy, the poor. Each person’s life has meaning. When we remember that we matter, it impacts how we live our daily lives. From everything to the choices we make and the thoughts we think, and most importantly the actions we take.
  3. We can make a difference. This fundamental thought allows us to stay in the place of possibility, as at times it’s impossible to know what difference you are making in the world and with the people around you. To know and believe that what you do makes a difference, you can have an impact, and you can make a contribution, is the truth of your existence. But most people forget this as they go about their daily duties. When we realize that we can make a difference, we then change the direction of our actions. When we believe in this fundamental truth, we will speak up when we see wrong doings, we will take action that is in alignment with who we are, we will enlist bravery and courage into our lives. And most importantly we will not take life for granted–ours or others.

When we embrace these three fundamental truths and begin to act upon them, our worlds can change. Cultivating these truths – we belong, we matter, we can make a difference – we can begin to see how our life has purpose and to begin to live in a different way. We must never forget these truths about ourselves or others.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these truths. Would you add anything? Do you agree?

If you’d like to make a bigger impact and be a global agent for change, be sure to check out the upcoming Awakening the Dreamer workshop.

The Path to Purpose

We are all walking individual paths of purpose. Same paths are clear from the start, others are disjointed, fragmented, and even disshelveled at times.

The clear path is easy to define. People know what they want, they go after it, success follows. They never waiver. It’s much like my childhood friend, who even at the age of 12, knew she wanted to be a dental hygenist. Today, after being in that field for over 10 years, she still loves it. She is crazy about teeth. She always was, and likely always will be. There are many other like this too, you see it in the actors and actresses that dominate Hollywood, you see it in sports stars, you might even see this in yourself. My boyfriend is much the same way. He loves technology, he’s been in technology since he finished college, and he’ll never do anything different.

“I’ve often admired people like him. The ones who know what they want, what they are good at, then go after it and never look back. Their path is clear. It’s focused.”  

But as much as I’ve admired it, it’s not who I am. Even as a child, I had dreams of being a writer, a teacher, a lawyer, a banker, even a comedian. I wanted to be anything and everything. The world was my playground!

This ultimately leads us to the alternative path of purpose. The one that looks a little more muddied and disshelveled, especially to those clear path folks that make it look like finding a purpose and sticking with it is so darn easy.

What I’ve realized though is that the messy, muddied path is perfect, in its own way. It’s neither right nor wrong. It is simply what is.

I’ve often described my entrepreneurial career as something simliar to that of a tangled up ball of yarn. All of it has been divinely purposeful, but sometimes it looks a little tangled. Eventually, if you follow the path long enough, you come out on the other side, with all the tools, resources, and guidance you need to fully express your purpose. In the end, it’s beautiful.

The important thing is not to judge yourself for whatever path to purpose is right for you. And even more importantly, don’t judge others. We all are on this earth to express ourselves and to contribute our skills to the greater good, the path in which we take to do so doesn’t matter.

At the end of the day, it’s our contribution that matters most, not the way in which we arrived.

How has your path to purpose unfolded over your lifetime? Are you a clear, straight-forward person or has your path been more muddied?

Please share with the community!

Finding Calm in the Chaos

Staying grounded and in the present when life is moving along at a normal pace may be easy (or easier), but it’s what we do in the chaos that can be our biggest champion for growth.

We all experience periods and times of chaos. Life is busy. Our appointments and calendars are filled. Obligations, commitments, and even opportunities seem to be knocking on our door.

It’s often an ebb and flow. Similar to the seasons, we find ourselves immersed in periods of growth. It’s during these periods of growth, when our seeds are germinating and our leaves are sprouting, that we have an opportunity to practice mindfulness. Simliar to the chaos of a new plant bursting from the ground, all it needs to do is to focus on its own path and evolution. [Read more...]

Being in the F.L.O.W.

Life always seems to be a balance between productive, “get-it-done” energy and simply being in the flow. While I admit, I’ve come pretty close to mastering the productive energy, I often find myself dreaming of a life where I am more in the flow.

One afternoon this week I felt that urge to walk away from the to-do list and just let go. And I did just that. Instead I found myself piddling around the house, cleaning up some mental and physical energy, and just doing whatever came up.

Being in the flow, Managing energy, PlayfulnessAfter a few hours, I felt completely refreshed and went back to my computer to do a few more things. I love the feeling of a clear head, when the pieces just come together. To me, this is the perfect balance of flow and productivity. To experience both in the same day is a special treat. I am able to recognize how much more energized I feel, even at the end of the night. I found myself going to bed thinking, I’m not actually physically tired.

But being in the flow can help us receive more intuitive hits, reduce our stress, be in the present moment, and just enjoy life more. Besides, all we have is each individual day.  [Read more...]